Danny McGuire came home from work to find his lovely bride sitting in the living room still in her bath robe. 

“Kate my wife” he says “what ever is the matter, yer still in yer robe.”

“Ah Danny,” says she, “tis poorly I’m feeling. I didn’t know what to do so I called Doc McDonald. ‘I’ll need a specimen’, he says and hung up. Danny, I don’t know what a specimen is.”

“Ah lass I don’t know either, but if you high yerself up the stairs to Mrs. Murphy ‘n’ she’ll be able to tell ye.”

Off goes Kate bounding up the stairs.

Soon Danny hears a horrible thump, bang and a hell of a crash. Opening his door, he sees Kate piled up at the bottom of the landing.

“Kate, what ever happened?”

“I tol’ Mrs Murphy what the doc said and she told me to just piss in a bottle. So I told her to shit in her hat . . . and the fight was on.”