This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down The Queen's Head with me and have a beer?"

But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, How about going to the pub for a drink?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. 

He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head and have a drink with me?"

A little voice came out of the box:...........

"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my F***ing shoes on."