Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. 

She started to rub it and out popped a genie. “Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!”, she exclaimed. 

“No”, said the genie, “You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish.”

“Lets see,” says Monica, “I don’t need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don’t need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I’ll have all the money I could ever want.” “I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that’s it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles removed.”

Poof, and just like that, her ears were gone